What Hurts The Most
by dominoeb
Summary: Yuki has died in a car accident.Shuichi isn't dealing with it very well.The story is based off of the song What Hurts The Most.
1. Chapter 1

What Hurts The Most

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house_

_That don't bother me…_

Yuki…

Shuichi lay awake. It was rainng and Shuichi could feel the emptiness of the house. He was remembering…

Whenever it rained it would become cold and Shuichi would snuggle up to Yuki.

Flashback- " Get off baka," Yuki growled pushing Shuichi away from him.

" But Yuki… I'm cold," Shuichi said, shivering.

Yuki saw that Shuichi really was cold.

He sighed and pulled Shuichi against him.

"Arigato Yuki," Shuichi murmured.

End flashback

_I can take a few tears now and then_

_And just let them out_

Yuki…

Tears slipped out of the corners of Shuichi's eyes.

_I'm not afraid to cry_

_Every once in a while_

_Even though goin on with you gone still upsets me_

"Shuichi…" Hiro said as Shuichi began to cry.

They were in a bar. It had been hard convincing Shuichi to come. Hiro had thought it'd be good for the singer to go out but now…

"I'm sorry Hiro," Shuichi said trying to stop the tears.

It's okay," Hiro said.

It's okay," he repeated, hugging his best friend.

_There are days every now and again_

_I pretend I'm okay_

_But that's not what gets me_

The phone rang.

Hiro answered.

"Hello."

"Hi Hiro, "Shuichi said faux-happily.

"Shuichi?" Hiro asked surprised. Shuichi hadn't called since the accident.

"Let's go for ice-cream," Shuichi said in that fake voice.

"Now?" Hiro asked.

"Of course, silly" Shuichi said.

"Are you sure… are you okay?" Hiro asked, worriedly.

"Of course. Let's go to The Ice-Cream Shoppe," Shuichi said, sounding like his old self but Hiro could hear the desperate undercurrent in his voice.

"Okay," Hiro said. Anything to help his best friend.

When he got to the shop Shuichi was already there. He was staring at a strawberry mint ice-cream in a cone. Hiro was surprised. Shuichi always got a mixture of flavours.

As if reading Hiro's mind Shuichi looked up.

"Yuki…Yuki always got a strawberry mint. It was his favorite," he said smiling brightly, although there were tears running down his cheeks.

"Shuichi…" Hiro said at a loss for words.

_But that's not what gets me_

_What hurts the most_

_Was being so close_

Flashback- "Yuki, I'm sorry," Shuichi said reaching out.

_And having so much to say_

The words that Shuichi wanted to say would not come.

_And watching you walk away_

Shuichi followed Yuki after watching him walk away. He tried to figure out how to say what he wanted to.

_And never knowing_

"Yuki! Watch out!" Shuichi yelled at Yuki as the car was about to hit him.

Yuki looked up in surprise.

SCREECH!

Yuki's body flew into the air as the car hit him.

_What could have been._

"Yuki!" Shuichi screamed.

_And not seeing that loving you…_

Shuichi ran to Yuki's body.

He wasn't breathing.

"Nooooooo! Yuki! Please!" Shuichi cried.

_Is what I was trying to do._

Shuichi wept bitterly.


	2. Chapter 2

What Hurts The Most

Chapter Two

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go_

"Eiri Yuki Dead," was the headline of every newspaper that Shuichi walked past.

_But I'm doing it_

Shuichi looked away and kept walking.

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone_

Shuichi was in a restaurant with Hiro and Ayaka, Ryuichi and Tatsuha and K and Suguru. Tohma hadn't been well since the accident.

"Shuichi," Ryuichi said.

Shuichi looked up and found everyone looking at him

"Are you okay?" Ryuichi asked.

Shuichi smiled even though he was hurting.

"I'm fine," he lied.

_Still harder_

_Getting up, Getting dressed_

Shuichi woke up groggily.

"Yuki…" he murmured reaching for his boyfriend

Then he remembered.

Yuki wasn't there anymore.

He got up and got ready for the day.

He had kept their apartment because everything that reminded him of Yuki hurt sometimes he could touch Yuki's laptop or hug his clothes and almost feel him.

_Living with this regret_

"I'm sorry Yuki,"

He said the same words everyday and hoped that wherever he was Yuki could hear him.

_But I know if I could do it over_

What he wouldn't give for a second chance.

_I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart_

_That I left unspoken_

If I'd only said what I'd meant to.

"What do you want to say?!" Yuki asked angrily but Shuichi just stood. For once he couldn't say anything.

Aggravated Yuki left.

"The last time he'd ever walk out these doors," Shuichi thought bitterly.

_What hurts the most _

_Was being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

_And never knowing_

_What could have been_

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do_

"I'm sorry Yuki."


End file.
